Shadow has literally been my loyal shadow since the day I got him. The bond we share is completely and utterly indescribable and I have never felt anything so strongly in my life before. He came with his brother, Aura, who unfortunately passed away three years ago, from friends of family who didn’t have a big enough garden for two large dogs. They were about 1 years old at the time when we got them, or Shadow was a little bit older.

I was 12 when I got these dogs and I knew instantly when I met Shadow that we would be by each other’s side, through thick and thin, no matter what. He was more reserved than Aura, shy, nervous and almost scared. Apparently he had been abused in the past and my heart sank for him. I don’t think Aura was abused but he was neglected or something of the sorts. I remember the day they came home, and instantly being drawn to Shadow. His name wasn’t even Shadow, horrendously, it was Ziggy! None of us liked that name, so we changed it to Shadow, because he seemed to shadow me or Aura around a lot.

I cautiously nurtured Shadow until he grew more and more comfortable at his new home; I had recognised something in him that I wasn’t even aware of. Over time, we learned that he was quite an aggressive dog, even trying to bite me when I first tried to play with him in the garden and I was running. That was the one and only time I had ever been afraid of him. He figured out that I wasn’t trying to hurt him, that I was simply playing with him. He never did like when other people ran though, and frequently tried to attack my mom’s gardening team. It was scary to witness and we always had to shout at him to stop.

It was also considered a good sign, that he was protective and not afraid to defend his home and territory. He eventually became so attached to me that he didn’t want any other dogs near me or even any other human to play “rough” with me. If someone jumped on my back or pushed me or anything of the sort, Shadow would immediately be on the defense and my friends would reluctantly pull away, afraid to be attacked by my loyal dog. I would tell Shadow that we were just playing.

I secretly enjoyed this bond of ours, his loyalty to me and the way he would bark and get carried away if he felt threatened on my behalf. It made me feel special and treasured, like I was his princess he had to look after at all times.

Shadow also never liked it when people swam in the swimming pool and has attempted to attack multiple people we have had over for a swim party. I always had to put him in the house so we could all have a good time without being wary of the big, black dog. He has actually bitten a few people over the years, a child included because he didn’t like children, and the mother threatened to get the SPCA but I knew no one stood a chance because there was no way I would let anybody take away or do anything to my loyal protector.

Unfortunately Shadow is getting old now, about 13 or 14, his bones consumed by arthritis, his medical injections increased as well as his medication. He is not the same dog as he was in his youth; aggressive, always ready for a fight. I don’t doubt he would still attack someone on my behalf if he deemed it necessary, but he is calm with the friends I have in my life and is not so much on guard anymore. It is understandable, as he is an elderly gentleman, like any person who gets old. Their youth fades away and you begin to let everything that once mattered, fade away.

It truly breaks my heart that Shadow is so old and in pain, but he still manages it quite well considering the intensity of it. I knew he wouldn’t live forever but now that his time is inching closer and closer, my heart aches with pain at a life without Shadow. I always felt so guilty for leaving him behind when I went on my travels to work on the yachts, thinking if I should have stayed behind to spend his last years with him, but I knew I had to go, and so did Shadow. He always happily welcomed me back and stayed by my side when I was home as much as he could.

I dread the day he leaves Earth and nothing can prepare me for the soul ache I will experience when it comes. My world will be destroyed and so will everything that I am made of. That dog is absolutely everything to me and this is the part I hate about having animals. They come into your life for only a certain number of years before shattering your heart and soul by leaving you behind on Earth. I know that death for everyone is inevitable, but I hate to go about life without the souls who got me as far as I have, and there are so many that I have had to say goodbye to and it never gets easier with each animal.

Shadow is still alive and well (for the most part) and lives a happy retirement and I am so glad to have been the one to take him in and watch him blossom and grow and have him as one of my best friends. He has been with me for most stages of my life, when my heart was crushed by boys at school, when I thought I was doing badly at school, when I bloomed into a woman, into adulthood, he has watched me grow too, and I cannot imagine how he must be feeling to have to also leave me behind one day, because I don’t think he wants to but he also knows the day will come.

I love my Shadow, and if you wish to see more of him, there is a Meet Shadow video which you can find here on my Wild Reverence YouTube channel.