Having horses is not an easy walk in the park like many people may think it is. The time, the money, the effort and the energy to take care of them and bond with them is quite a lot. The part that a lot of equestrians may not mention is that things can go very wrong, very quickly and half of the time things don’t go to plan.
That may be said about all horses, but I have noticed that not many people in the area that I live in have adopted/rescue horses. Obviously I have mentioned Phantom and Da Vinci a lot since the beginning of Wild Reverence, but I do feel like it’s a completely different story when it comes to rescue horses. I would like to dive a little deeper into the little things I try do to build trust with them, especially knowing that I am not 100% sure what they have been through in their past before arriving at SAID or what has happened to them.
It is of the utmost importance to me that I make them feel safe and loved and not as if I will ever do something bad to them. Not to say I won’t set up boundaries or discipline them when they are being rude or naughty, but the lines can easily blur between disciplinary and making them feel unsafe.
Unfortunately for me, I have already experienced dangerous tactics of both of them, mainly Da Vinci, who has threatened to charge at me multiple times, including in my latest video, I Thought I Knew My Horses, which you can find here. I do not find it funny or cute when he does that and it can worsen over time, which is why I am bringing in someone more experienced to come and help me with his charging behaviour.
Apart from that, I have bonded with them quite significantly over the last few months, from before I left for my last yacht job up until adopting them and bringing them home. They have been on the property with me for just over two months and I feel they have settled quite well and love their new life with me. They have a home, someone who wakes up to kiss them good morning every day, who tries to make sure they stay out of the rain, who sprays fly repellent on them on hot days and I think for them it’s a completely new and different experience compared to being in a shelter and having random people bring them carrots or look from afar and call them pretty and move on. They have someone who adores them and who actually wants them.
Since it is still new and quite the adjustment for them, bonding with them since their adoption, has been a slow ongoing path. They are not like dogs who tend to be more trusting than any other animal, who will come running to me just because I took them home. No, they need time and space as well as patience and understanding. Which I try my best to give to them.
One of the things I have recently started doing to build a stronger bond is taking them for walks outside of the property every now and then. I always have someone else come with me, my aunt or someone because I can’t walk two horses at the same time, but letting them explore outside of their new home, with me to help them, strengthens the bond in a few ways. I believe this helps because when they are taken outside of their new home, they are reminded that that is their safe place that they just left, where they are used to seeing me as well. They get to enjoy the outside world on their halters and eating grass by the old paddocks next door while still knowing I am the one who will protect them and keep them safe away from their home. It also helps with desensitisation, when the cars whizz by or a dog barks or they see something that looks scary to them. Particularly best for Phantom, as her anxiety levels are much higher than Da Vinci’s. It’s cute to take them on a walk and to watch them smell the ground like dogs do and to smell other horses’ manure.
Another small thing I like to do is simply stand near them when they are grazing or taking a little nap or when they are hanging out by their water trough. Something about just being in the present with them, without demanding something from them, is actually very healing. When we go to our horses we often have an intention behind why we are going up to them, or we often know what we want to do with them. So going up to them just to be there with them is calmly reassuring them that they don’t need to always prepare for an activity such as riding (most often it’s riding) or training or lunging. It’s soaking in their energy and presence and reminding them you love them even when they are not doing anything.
I have noticed they take very kindly to these kinds of small things and I feel like Phantom almost looks forward to when I come stand by her. She has come so far out her shell that I don’t even recognise the horse she was last year. She has opened so much to me in her own ways that I have such strong feelings of honour and quiet pride. It is not easy earning the trust of a horse and Phantom is by far the best example. When I go to say hello to her she actually lets me hug her. It is incredible that she allows me to wrap my arms around her neck because previously, she hated that and would always pull her ears back and walk away. Now she is calm and relaxed and willing to let me hug her.
Da Vinci is also a complicated horse in the sense that he doesn’t appreciate his personal space being overtaken, but he is more aggressive in his warnings than Phantom which is why I actually struggle more to simply hang out with him in the field than Phantom and unless he is on a halter, he often will pull his ears back when I try to touch him or say hello. Which is okay. Each horse is different and has their pace when it comes to building trust. But those are two main little things I enjoy doing to build more trust with my rescue horses.
